Okay but hear me out,
What if whenever someone runs
safe cat safe://blahblah > filename it sends MaidSafe a log item telling them this has happened, and then another one when it exits.
Zero privacy with this method, but maybe it would help speed testing/troubleshooting up? I imagine there would still be a lot of willing volunteers on a diverse range of systems.
(Inspired by trying to write and debug multiprocessing programs.)