How about this… walk in to WHSmith, buy a safeUSB.
A non writable USB, just hardware. Pre-generated account.
Go home, plug in the usb to your laptop - no username or password, just store your files on this USB that only works if connected to the internet. A drive mounts automatically with your files, free to read.
Has one readable text file with a receiving address to top up your puts… or market it as top up your MB?
An unlimited storage device from the outside. Only need to worry about losing the device.
delux model: connect it directly to your wifi via a setup app instead of using your laptop link.
delux model 2: uses a sim card.
I think there are so many products that would appear around SAFE technology.
Want to buy a film? Do need to buy DVDs anymore.
Go to shop, buy a firmware SAFE drive with a unique generated account pointing to your copy of a film.
Boot from USB? Over a very fast network, run an OS install directly off the SAFE network if you have enough puts?