Hmm, the proposal isn’t new, and in fact there was already not a proposal, but an attempt to create a Tor currency (back in 2014), but I can’t remember the coin name right now (the thing fell apart due to disagreements among devs).
Then there’s a TorCoin already (not completely related, but loosely interesting in this context):
https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=677434.0
The author could have done some research before he wrote that post. Clearly he hasn’t done that, so 
Oh, and by the way, also from 2014:
TEARS audits relays and rewards them with anonymous coins called Shallots, proportionally to bandwidth contributed.
(www.nrl.navy.mil/itd/chacs/jansen-onions-shallots-rewarding-tor-relays-tears)
Thanks, I’ll admit that I didn’t do my research on this and am glad to get your TL;DR.
Sorry, I would have been more constructive in my critique if I knew that was you. Comments from other users on this forum made me enter a bad mood by the time I read your post.
Happy New Year!
Another good paper on the topic, from 2015:
For clarification, that wasn’t me writing the post, I just didn’t do my research by posting the link on these forums. You’d think I’d be getting more sleep on my weekend off!