It looks a really good presentation to me @Dirk83. I still find it hard to decide what to say and what to leave out when I want to explain SAFE (just wrote an email doing exactly that). If anything I’d say the danger is putting up too much information, and trying to get too much across. My trouble is that I have so much I want to say because there is so much good stuff to talk about, so the hardest part is saying enough to convey the significance of SAFE Network, but not so much that people get lost or overloaded and have to switch off.
So my suggestion (without any experience yet of presenting SAFE yet) is tell the important story as simply as you can, but allow time afterwards for questions. Post presentation, review who was there and what they asked about, as useful feedback for next time or to share with others who might want to present. I will certainly be interested.
Another thing to consider is diagrams. They help in lots of ways.
My suggestions are probably too late for this, so let me finish with good luck. This is a really great thing you are doing