Haven't you realized yet that you aren't going to do what 'they' want you to do?

“Haven’t you realized yet that you aren’t going to do what ‘they’ want you to do?” Someone said this to me not so long ago. They were also suggesting that once you realize this that relationships may tend not to work out or be awkward. It was a substantial implication because it would suggest incompatibility with typical expectations like career or marriage or even typical friendship. I dont think this was akin to the refrain “I will not capitulate” or even artistic license. It would be more akin to recording years of night time dreams and then years later reading over them and seeing a theme emerge and progress across the dreams. It might be more like growing alergic to the world but also like maturity and strangely like humility as it rules out a lot of expectation without inviting the convent.

But there is a political aspect to the sentiment as well. We grow weary of the standard operation where directive types gather together behind closed doors to reach consensus about others and make formal or defacto policy. We recognize this as a form of bullying. Not only are we not privy to the proceedings and are allowed only to guess at intents for actions that are intended to bind us but we don’t get to know the full extent of the structure of these adverse relations. Who is sleeping with who, who is the illegitimate child or cousin of who, or who is blackmailing who?

If your life is to an extent about retaining volition even just to pursue humility there is a need to end all organizational secrecy and make it so there is never a reasonable expectation of secrecy for group actions. Without this there can be no useful privacy or basis for the good life.